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How You Handle “No” Means Everything


From Brian's Facebook Post, August 24, 2016:


How someone handles “No” says much about their maturity, trust in God and ability to walk well in long-term relationships.


Recently, someone contacted me and wanted to know if I could do something. Wanted to know if I had any conditions by which I would say, “No.” I answered honestly that I did. I was answering biblically. Which meant I would have to say, “No” to what they wanted.


And I appreciated this person’s response more than I can tell you. Because- if you’ve ever dealt with the public, you know this to be true- so many want what they want. And they want it now. Or else there will be hell to pay! If that’s true of the general public… just imagine adding religion to the mix. Yeah…it’s like that.


I answered the question. I did it in love. I winced, wondering if I was getting ready to hear a firestorm of labeling. Of cussing me out. Of anger and self-righteous condescension and cursing upon me and the church I pastor. Not that I’d expect it from this person. At all. But still…get hit enough times and you become a bit gun-shy.


They answered back. “I understand why.” They were friendly. We had a little more back and forth. I promised to pray. I have. And I thought…that’s someone who has some maturity. Who believes God will work it out even if they don’t get what they want from me. Who won’t easily end friendships, cut relationships and act like a child on Facebook when they don’t get what they want.


Made me smile. Because we don’t always see things the same. And I can’t always say, “Sure!” But I do want to show love and speak truth. And truth, however politely spoken. However lovingly given. No matter how much you’re willing to listen to the person and communicate respect for their point of view. Truth brings sharp response and a lot of hate from entitled folks these days. Fortunately, there are people like this person who remind me it’s OK to have convictions.


How someone handles “No” says much about their maturity, trust in God and ability to walk well in long-term relationships.

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